Why I broke-up with Facebook
It may seem like somewhat of a conflict of interest that a person who works at an interactive agency would have the impulse to detach oneself from the key player in the social media movement – but I had my reasons.
At first, it was amazing. We loved each other. I found friends I hadn’t seen or heard from in almost a decade. My family was on there, my co-workers, my favorite beer, even the little Indian restaurant down the street.
But then, she turned on me. I found myself compulsively checking in with her. She nagged. She injected we with urges to share my every move, every photo, and every thought I had with the rest of the people she had her hooks sunk into. At one point, I found myself being distracted from conversations with physically present people to check in on a conversation about what a friend from high school had for dinner the night before. Even though she never suspected anything was wrong, I made the decision to end our relationship. It was weird at first – lots of people that knew we were together were confused and somewhat hurt by this sudden break-up. I got phone calls, emails, confused looks. I just kept telling people that it was me, not her. She’s really great for some people, but the way she made me feel… the way she consumed other people’s social lives… it just didn’t seem healthy. Was any one’s life better because of her?
Looking back, it was all for the best. Its been around five months, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about her on occasion. Who knows, maybe we’ll get back together for a while. See if we can work things out the second time around.
posted by Adriane Gilbert on June 29th, 2010 at 9:28 am Permanent link to this post
4 Responses to “Why I broke-up with Facebook”
Don’t give up hope, after an initial false start, Facebook and I reconciled last year and we’re stronger than ever. Our first relationship was filled with jealousy and impulsive decisions followed by regret and recriminations. This time around we’re giving each other more space. If I feel the need to flicker, tumble, blip, twitter, or (gasp) sometimes even unplug, there’s a shared understanding that variety is good for our relationship. We’re even finding ways to share our common interests. Although we still need time apart, the separation gives us something to talk about when we get back together.
Stay strong.
We’ve been apart for three or four weeks now. I wasn’t worried about the time I spent on there, but I found it less and less rewarding as time went on. Writing for an audience of that size is almost always impersonal, and the feedback I got was also really superficial. You liked that movie? So did I. It’s your birthday? Have a good one. People who couldn’t answer two questions about me were “interacting” with this very shallow representation of me, and I couldn’t find a way to enrich it.
I’ll come back. I’m sure I will. But I think I’ll make different choices about who I connect with. In terms of a built-in, automatic audience, more isn’t always better.
I think I’ve found my people! Let’s promise not to get together and form a group though.
An interesting story on walking away from Facebook. One that ends with a small button that allows me to post this story to Facebook.
“Just when I thought I was out…they* pull me back in…”
Hope to read about your thoughts on this as they unfold Ms. Gilbert.
b
*Farmville